Wit

Our Sunday Scribblings prompt was: wit, but it was suggested that we pair it with something like "grace". Now I understand that if you really want to be known as a wit, you need a little grace to keep from overdoing it...and if you are subjected to too much "wit" you must have grace to keep smiling pleasantly, but other than that? Well, wits failed me.

 I think I'll write a limerick about it all...

She was known as an elegant wit
Understated, demure, like a Brit
She skewered with grace
And smiled in one's face
As she roasted them there on the spit.

Such an innocent-eyed little chit
Whose jokes were "in fun" and "that's it"
Her victims all smiled
As she stabbed and beguiled.
But they secretly called her a twit.

So, Do you Think I should Lose a Few Pounds?

On dieting advice, you will find
That your sweet friends will say: Nevermind,
My dear, you're a star 
Just the way that you are!
Better find one who's brutally kind.

Sweet, Syrupy, Sweet
Delectable, Sugary,
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet Poison*















*As you might have deduced, I'm still on my diet. Sigh!

Deeds of Daring Don't

Inside I'm a dreamer, it's true
But the dreams that I dream, I don't do
Lost caverns are deep
High mountains are steep
Those conquests I've left up to you*

So Glad the Sun Rises in the East

If I have to be driving, at least

My windshield is facing the East

Where the sun's pointed rays

Crack open my days

And pour out a magnificent feast

(Yes. I did pull over to take this picture on Friday morning. No. I was not late to work.)

Poison Ivy

Be thankful. At the last minute I decided not to post a picture of my poison ivy reaction. (Some things are better forgotten.) Suffice it to say I am now on antibiotics, prednisone, and some kind of multiple-syllabic topical ointment. To celebrate the occasion I wrote a limerick.


Ode to Poison Ivy

I didn't know what I would catch
when I mowed that innocuous patch
of oddly shaped leaves.
I should have worn greaves
On the areas I now have to scratch

Here are some pictures of poison ivy for your viewing pleasure. I didn't know it could race across a flat field like this, or present itself in the form of a bush. All I can say is, it's a wonder I'm not covered from head to toe.




I copied this pictures from an official "poison ivy" site. If you are doing any outside activities this summer you should visit it first...and avoid my fate.

Mad Kane's Humor Blog

In times like these...stock market going wild, people scurrying around with question marks on their faces...well you can't be serious every minute, or your body will explode with ulcers. I stumbled upon this site once where a retired lawyer invites people to write limericks and haiku. Today her topic was : Dentists, so I slogged out a verse reminding me of a particular dental disaster I endured about three years ago, when a dentist pulled out a tooth without ex-raying first and ended up fracturing my jaw and creating a hole through to my sinus cavity. Needless to say, I switched dentists, but on cold days my face still hurts from the trauma. Anyway, what do you do? Laugh about it. Here is my limerick... and the haiku.

At first I considered my cavity
A disaster of no special gravity
But the dentist—Forsooth--
Wrenched out the whole tooth.
In an instant of mental depravity

“Million dollar smile!”
“Puts money where your mouth is”
Disproportionate.

Gray Matters

I'm older. Each day I'm amazed
That I falter, I fade, and I'm dazed
Though I'm falling apart,
From my head to my heart
The real "me" is hardly fazed.

Inside I'm much younger than you
And my dreams are still lavishly huge
All the plans in my head
They're alive 'til I'm dead
And the thoughts that I think are still new.

This is a Limerick for Mad Kane's Humor Blog. The prompt was "Getting Older".

Just Desserts

Here are two limericks for Mad Kane's Humor Blog.
The topic was Food and Drink.

# 1

I ate your ice cream bars, he gloated
Creamy, and rich—chocolate coated!
Now you’re feeling trim,
But how about him?
Well he’s feeling lethargic and bloated.

#2

My stomach keeps calling for more
and no matter how much I deplore
the sugar sweet snacks,
I have to face facts:
Those rascals are winning the war!

Limerick and Haiku--Dating

This is in response to Mad Kane's Limerick Challenge
The Topic is Dating.

Limerick

He thought her a bit over-rated
She firmly pronounced him out-dated
Yet, odd to discover,
They married each other
And they blissfully live—syncopated

Haiku

Fussing with my hair…
How do I know what he likes?
Fluffy, Styled, Straight? Wild?