Friday, September 23, 2011

Is That Scary Enough?

My daughter told me today that she is having trouble deciding how to make a Halloween costume for Zaya. He is determined to be something scary this year, but doesn't want any of the costumes they sell in stores, preferring to come up with his own ideas.

The first one was an ebola virus. Carina told him that was simply too scary and would stun anyone who answered their door.

So he thought a while longer and came up with another: A shigella bacteria. She told him that would just be too hard to explain without using the word diarrhea and might put people off, so why couldn't he choose something that wasn't disease causing?

He thought about it and said he'd be a black hole in space. She explained that, while the idea was creative without being repulsive, she didn't think she could make a costume out of negative space, so couldn't he think of something scary that was humanoid enough to fit a boy.

He did. Now he wants to be an IRS auditor. I voted for that one. He'll have to do some explaining, I know, but at least the costume will be easy.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A Barking Beast

Since the weather is mild, I've no longer any excuses to keep me from walking in the evenings, so I decided to take up, once again, my almost abandoned habit of meandering through the streets. Ostensibly, my goal is to lower my weight and blood pressure; however, since those two are doing well, the only goal really left is to fight flab, which, I suspect, is going to be a losing battle, but who said I was a realist?

Anyway, on my swift and steady rounds this evening, I was suddenly challenged by this little beast, who barreled out into the street and blocked my way with blustering barks and guttural growls. Two little girls standing in their yard nearby approached quietly to reassure me. The oldest spoke:

"She won't hurtcha. She's nice."
"I can see that," I lied bravely.
"She's really a sweet doggie."
"She looks sweet," I lied again, "What's her name?"

The little girl smiled as she replied, "Killer."

Monday, September 19, 2011

Phone Conversation with a Seven-year-old.

My daughter doesn't have internet yet, so she hasn't been posting. Fearing that a vital part of her children's adventures would go unrecorded, I made the sacrifice and decided to write about my grandkids whenever I got the chance.
So, I visited with my grandson on the phone this morning. Here's an excerpt from our conversation:

Zaya: "Grandma, we just watched episode four and five of the Star Wars Series."
Me: "Is that the one where the Empire Strikes Back?"
Zaya: "Yes. It's the older ones."
Me: "Well, if you're going to watch the next one, remember that the first part, where Jabba the Hutt has all those monsters, is gross, but it gets better after that. I'm sure glad I'm not living like that, roaming around the sky exploding planets.
Zaya: Why not? That would be cool?
Me: That depends on whether you are the exploder or the explodee.
Zaya: (laughing) Oh, right. I really just meant the traveling part.
Me: Yeah that's a lot better than all the fighting part. It's not as gross as some parts of Lord of the Rings though."
Zaya: "Well, you know why that is, Grandma. Star Wars is set in the future and they use lasers; there isn't blood, but Lord of the Rings is set in the past and they use swords."
Me: "You're right, still, it's pretty violent, so it will probably be a while before you watch that one. So, how are you liking home-schooling?
Zaya: "Just fine."
Me: "Just what are you studying this year?"
Zaya: "Oh you know, math, spelling, history, science, English, Greek--just the normal second grade stuff."
Me: "Um-huh."

(I didn't want to spoil it by telling him.)