Friday, February 15, 2013

Bible Valentine Riddles

Here are some valentine riddles for you...
Each poem represents a "couple" from the Bible.
The answers are at the bottom.

Together we plotted; together we schemed
For the land we had sold far too dearly—it seemed
We kept back a part, but claimed we gave all
Together we schemed…but apart we would fall.

For a vineyard denied him
He sulked in his room
I hired two good liars.
Nabboth was doomed.
But our evil was judged
Cruel was our fate
The dogs licked his blood
Me—they ate!

As she gleaned in my fields
I beheld her one day
A maiden from Moab
Many miles away.
She wanted my protection
She offered her life
I gave her a family
I made her my wife.

I watered some camels for a man at the well
He charmed me with jewels and a quest
He asked me to marry a man--sight unseen
And I followed him off to the West.

She charmed me; she teased me
She lied so sincerely
She called in the barbers
And I paid rather dearly.

 Her father made a promise to offer her hand
To whoever conquered a piece of Cannan land
I found it quite easy and married the daughter
Receiving some land and two wells of water.

I wanted to marry a beautiful girl.
And the seven years it cost me
Passed by in a whirl.
But her scheming father
Had his own little agenda
And I married the eldest
An able pretender.

 We worked hard together
Designing some tents
And met an earnest preacher
Who made lots of sense
So we both were converted
And started to follow
In turn we were able
To preach to Apollo

She was the fairest
I was the best
Together we plunged
You into a mess
We lost everything
When we fell to a fib
I was her teacher
She was my rib.

Nobody wanted to marry the woman
She would be trouble; her eyes, they were roamin’
But God gave an order.
Obey it, I must.
She broke my heart; but did not kill my trust.

When Vashti got sassy
I sent her away
To find a replacement
Was easy that day
She dressed rather simply
I thought she was fine
All Kings need a Queen
So she would be mine.

She gave her firstborn son
To the temple for his life
And thus redeemed her position
As a man’s barren wife.
He had another wife, you see
And children as well
But none were “asked of God”
Like the little Samuel 

God’s judgment fell upon us
Though we prayed and though we cried
For the murder of Uriah
Our little baby died.

My husband was a wealthy man
With a temper like a mule
Stingy and intractable
His name meant “fool”,

My name meant “princess”
And my beauty was renown
He said I was his sister
When we got to Egypt’s town
I didn’t have a baby
Until I was ninety-nine
So we named him laughter
And I loved him—he was mine.

We moved away to Moab
When the famine hit our land
There I buried my poor husband
And my sons, close at hand.
Then I headed for my homeland
With my daughter-in-law
“Call me Marah,” I said
My pain was all I saw.

He drove away some bullies
And was such a gentleman
I knew he’d learned his manners
In a civilized land.
So though he was an exile
I loved him all the same
And followed him to Egypt
And watched him grow in fame.

He killed all his brothers—princes’ every one
When he died he left his kingdom to the youngest of our sons
Who died within a year, in spite of all his wealth, so I
Slaughtered all my grandsons, and took the throne myself.

 I didn’t believe the angel
 Well, he’d given me a shock
So I wrote a letter to my wife
Cause now, I couldn’t talk
I told her about the baby
That would soon be born to us
But when we named him John
How our neighbors made a fuss.

Our third little baby
Was the one we had to hide
So we put him in the river
Left his sister at his side
We gave him up when he was young
We left him in God’s hands
How little did we know about
His destiny: His plans.

My father was an Egyptian priest.
My husband was a slave
He saved us all from famine
With the good advice he gave.
He knew what skinny cows meant
He listened to God’s voice
I was really proud to be his wife.
Though it wasn’t all my choice.


Answers: Ananias and Sapphira, Ahab and Jezebel, Boaz and Ruth,
 Isaac and Rebecca, Samson and Delilah, Othniel and Achsah, 
 Jacob and Leah and or Rachael,

Aquila and Priscilla, Adam and Eve, Hosea and Gomer,
Ahasuerus and Esther (or Xerses and Haddasah),
 Elkanah and Hannah,  David and Bathsheba, Nabal and Abigail,
Abraham and Sarah, Naomi and Elimelech, Moses and Zipporah,
Jehoram and Athaliah (Ahaziah was the one in the middle, and the surviving grandson was Joash.)
Zacharias and Elizabeth, Amram and Jocobed, Joseph and Asenath

1 comment:

aftergrace said...

I actually answered some of them right without peeking! Cool quiz!