Oh doctor, I'd like to schedule a service visit for myself. Yes, I've got a few nagging lights, and no, I'm not ready for a new model yet. Could you just hook me up to a diagnostic machine and tell me what needs tweaking. Add a few vitamins and minerals and change my transmission fluid. It seems that those messages aren't getting to the brain as fast as they used to. I think you should lubricate the joints as well. Ah yes, and check the pressure. (That easy-to-use home machine keeps giving me readings that are higher than normal, and there is a lot of difference between the left and right arm pressure which can be a scary thing if you do all that medical internet research.) My valves are sticking and I need some engine coolant for all that steam.
Then, in a few minutes they could tell me exactly what was wrong and what I should fix, or they could turn the warning off and tell me it was just a false pain and I am good for another fifty thousand miles. It would sure beat emergency room expenses, cat scans, calcium scans, all those grams and graphs and oscopies...especially the oscopies.
Sigh.
Today I noticed that the message on the dashboard was lit again.
"Service Engine Soon," it said smugly.
Ah well. Nobody ever said we live in a perfect world, and if they did say it, they need an oscopy of the brain.
3 comments:
Would that be a cerebroscopy?
I totally agree. It works so well on Star Trek. They just wave a little computer pad over you and give you a pain-free injection. All better!
Maybe, though, if it was really that easy, doctors would start replacing your major parts just for the extra money...like certain car service dealers.
or saying they replaced them.
Amen to that, dear cousin.
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